Dear 21st century male,
We are already nearly one month through the New Year, for many of us we have made an oath to uphold a New Years resolution, succeeded or failed in our attempt at honoring it, and as the new dawn progresses perhaps time is going quickly or barely passing by at all. It reminds me of a scene in Fight Club, Tyler Durden is giving a speech before a group of young men as they prepare for their first fight, “We’re the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War’s a spiritual war… our Great Depression is our lives.” For many young men of my generation, I can guarantee at least a part of you is dissatisfied, frustrated and hopeless. Regardless of the circumstance, allow me to invite you to a new objective in 2018 and beyond, and that mission is to re-claim your masculinity in a world which believes masculinity is toxic, dangerous, and outdated.
With the New Year comes another chapter of the supposed New Age, and with it, the New Age male. Emotionally suppressed, neurotic, and impotent, the New Age male is the latest model of masculinity offered by the Western world and its unholy influence. What was once something to be honored and respected is now something to be ashamed of, to be frail and agreeable is now the new norm. A generation of yes men who put their own desires on hold to serve more powerful men or women, a generation of men who lack purpose and desire, who believe women will like them the nicer and more pathetic they are, paling only in their relationship to other men.
If you were to listen to academic “feminists” (in quotations because modern feminists do not actually honor or understand femininity), you will believe that masculinity is a scourge on society that has resulted in death, destruction, and oppression for millennium. There are some things that feminists do get right about toxic masculinity, but what they are referring to is an immature form of masculinity which is a result of our society not understanding, nurturing, and incorporating masculinity effectively as some cultures have for thousands of years. Firstly, let’s get into the business of defining masculinity so we may better understand what it is and what it is not.
Masculinity and femininity are two polar opposites, they are divine compliments that bring out the best in one another.
Masculinity and femininity are two polar opposites, they are divine compliments that bring out the best in one another. You can think of masculine and feminine energy as polarities, one will attract the other and deflect the same, which can be thought of in terms of magnetism. Even in homosexual relationships, there is a masculine and feminine pole in the relationship. That is why we see straight relationships with a weak male and a dominating female, this is probably not an ideal relationship for either partner, but it highlights the polarity of the sexual energies in all cases. As our physiologies follow, men are naturally strong with large fists for fighting and swinging, women are naturally weaker than men and their bodies are designed to raise & nurture children. Even down to our reproductive organs, men have erections which direct our energy outward and women receive energy and take that energy inward. The feminine energy is nurturing, transformative and grounded, it creates balance and harmony and radiates life energy; the feminine energy can create homes, nurture societies and raise generations. The masculine energy is an assertive energy, aligning the mental, physical and spiritual trinity with purpose, the masculine energy can move mountains, fight armies and explore continents. Down to its very core, masculinity is purposeful, confident and directed even in places of great pain and suffering.
The polarity between the sexes is in our history, in our physiology, in our very essence as human beings, to deny this is to deny the orbit of the planets around the sun
The modern age has taught us to be unauthentic to our natural sexual energy, this has caused us have lackluster careers, relationships and unfulfilled lives. The New Age movement and modern feminism would have you believe that the sexual energies are social constructs. In time, men have embraced their feminine side and women have embraced their masculine side, culture is teaching everyone to become more androgynous and less polarizing. This adrognization of gender roles should be seen as a neutralization of the sexual magnetic poles, the Earth has magnetic poles which exchange magnetism, the positive and negative terminals on a battery create a flow of energy. We have been fooled to believe that gender roles are social contracts, surely a woman can fight in combat and a man can raise children, but how then do we explain the Western worlds uncanny level of psychiatrist visits, the record high rates of depression and the epidemic level of psychiatric drug prescriptions. This has resulted in a dissatisfaction between the sexes and an unfulfilled way of living. It is no secret that men would prefer to watch a war story or sports game, a microcosm of their own search for freedom through risk and putting everything on the line (even death). Women prefer to watch soap operas and romance stories showcasing their own desires. The reality is that the masculine and feminine energies are still alive and flowing through us, but have been suppressed in the name of equality. This masculine/feminine neutralization of the sexes is destructive to the individuals fulfillment as well as to societal operation. The polarity between the sexes is in our history, in our physiology, in our very essence as human beings, to deny this is to deny the orbit of the planets around the sun.
Deep down every man must find his purpose, if you have not found your purpose you need to start looking. If what you do does not align with your purpose you will never be satisfied. Perhaps you work a 9-5 but it is not your true passion, if you know your purpose or think you know, that leaves 16 hours in the day to enact your purpose on the world. Perhaps it is to be a writer, in which case you would use your spare time to write, or to open up an online business, in which case you would spend that time researching and building your brand, or perhaps it is to be a political activist, in which case you would use your money to support your cause and objective. Eventually, if you continue relentlessly you will eventually be able to fund your passion on its own and dedicate yourself to that full time, if not, you will at least be following your life’s purpose in the meantime and building momentum which you will pour all of your masculine energy into. The need for a purpose is so lost today, that often we spend much or all of our lives dissatisfied and unmotivated, we must not give in to apathy and despair, but proceed to align ourselves with our purpose.
I guarantee you that once you begin to pursue your purpose, you will usher in a new energy which will feel like the wind to your back. Just as important as this purpose is so is the attitude and mindset you adopt. Men are meant to grow through risk, even as children we would push and prod each other to do things that involved risk, “I bet you can’t climb over that fence!” Adults often discourage this kind of “self-destructive” behavior, but it is one of the only ways young men and boys can grow. In many places around the world and throughout history, the process of becoming a man is a time honored tradition, in some tribes, boys are kidnapped from their mothers by the tribesmen who pretend to be a warring tribe while the mothers pretend to be horrified during the mock kidnapping, the boys are hazed and toughened up before they are returned home as men. Coming of age rituals have existed all around the world for eons, however in the West there are no such rituals besides perhaps team sports and fraternity hazing. Despite growing up with no process of becoming a man, we must continue to challenge ourselves to refreshen and reinvigorate our sense of manhood. From taking a group motorcycle camping trip with friends, to putting all of your money and time into a new business venture, we must test ourselves and test ourselves often. I don’t believe men should go on the black slope if they’ve never ski’d before, but we must constantly test ourselves and engage with other men in activities that involve a significant degree of calculated risk. In the future, men should come together and look at ways initiate our boys into adulthood once we have re-claimed our masculinity.
A true man is authentic and true to his purpose first, unafraid to love even if it means getting hurt, and sets and respect boundaries in all relationships
When it comes to relationships with women, I often see men who pander and “white knight” for women thinking that it will get them into their pants. I hate white knights, and the reason is because they are inauthentic to themselves and to the woman, if the goals is to sleep with or be in a relationship with a woman they are going about it in the most unauthentic (read creepiest) way possible, which the woman can intuitively sense. Women do not respect men because they are “nice guys” who will do anything for them, they respect a man who has a purpose and puts that purpose before the relationship. They respect men who are willing to walk away from a relationship when boundaries are not being respected, a masculine male understand that tolerance of ones woman leads to resentment, an effeminate male is one who will be used as an emotional tampon and put quickly in the “friend zone”. They respect a man who is loving and cares about what she needs in the relationship, a masculine male understands that womens emotions are like the weather and change like the wind, logic and reason may work to fix the underlying problem but the emotions must be taken care of first with love. A woman wants a man that will fight and die to protect her and your children, not a man who will cower at an intruder or fail to stand up to the honor of their relationship. Don’t be like the white knight beta male who manipulates women and gets frustrated after being pushed into the friend zone. A true man is authentic and true to his purpose first, unafraid to love even if it means getting hurt, and sets and respect boundaries in all relationships.
The truth is, all men seek power whether directly or indirectly, the mature masculine understands that power ought to be consciously achieved and used in accordance to onces purpose and goals
In the modern world, power is a dirty word. Power has bee used for centuries to oppress others, men have been taught that to seek power is to be a tyrant, an abusive spouse or a criminal psychopath. The truth is, all men seek power whether directly or indirectly, the mature masculine understands that power ought to be consciously achieved and used in accordance to ones purpose and goals. Whether that power is wielded for good or evil is of course subjective and up to the man who holds it. Throughout history, people have always respected power whether it is political, monetary or physical. The masculine understands that if he wields power, he has freedom. A man should not be ashamed of his own strength, his own status nor his own monetary position, this will lead to his liberation. The masculine should consciously accrue power and understand the mechanisms behind it both to gain power and protect himself from others who have it. Be weary of anyone who tells you power is toxic, for they are most likely trying to obtain power over you themselves. The motto I follow as a libertarian activist is impotentes defendere liberatrum non-possunt, those without power cannot defend freedom. When it comes to all areas of your life, power is not just important, it is absolutely necessary.
Attitude, purpose and confidence are all a part of the masculine energy. TV shows and magazine covers would have you believe that the masculine male is a sparkling vampire cos-play who wears Calvin Klein brand underwear shirtless while “jacked” singers like Justin Bieber are setting unrealistic physique standards. Modern feminists believe masculinity is a macho caricature such as Heman or Rambo while conversely the New Age movement may capture him as effeminate and androgynous. I will be the first to say that the alpha image is dynamic, but primarily there are truths no matter what your purpose that are universally agreeable. Some may call it shallow but it is reality that men are the stronger sex, you will never hear a woman being called physically weak as an insult, however a man should take it as a great offense. Physically stronger men are respected more by other men and women, try to prove me wrong. This is true across business and social settings, being physically dominating is a masculine trait and will give off the appearance that you are more self-confident, self-actualized, and socially adept, which is why studies show that attractive people make 12% more money than less appealing people. It’s also the same reason why attractive twenty something female secretaries get the job over their more experienced older counterparts.
There’s nothing that can cure an ugly mug faster than 4 sets of 6 to 8 over the course of several months
There’s nothing that can cure an ugly mug faster than 4 sets of 6 to 8 over the course of several months, it also means that you will be getting in progressively better shape over time with higher testosterone levels than your peers. Physical exercise, particularly resistance training, will keep you young and masculine as well as vicious and capable of violence. No one cares if a man who is not capable of violence doesn’t hurt anyone or is nice, that person is like a sea cucumber who wants respect because he’s nice to everyone; real masculinity is being the guard dog who leaps fences and can rip someones throat out but is nice to its family and nudges babies to sleep, that is true masculine strength.
On top of physical strength is physical appearance, masculine men ought to dress well and care about their appearance. That doesn’t mean looking macho wearing Tap-Out t-shirts while you haven’t hit legs since the last lunar equinox, it means dressing a level above everyone else and demanding attention with your clothing and physical stance. Chest out, back up, eyes level to the horizon, not too low to be submissive and not too high to be arrogant, legs spread shoulder width a part and arms to ones side as if to project ones presence. If you are pale, have an unruly beard and dandruff while wearing clothes that do not fit and smell of Stouffers mac & cheese and body order, why should anyone respect you? Anyone who say looks don’t matter is a complete idiot, looks completely matter, looks are everything. People say not to judge others by their appearance, I say that’s pathetic, you should absolutely judge and furthermore people are judging you, so look good and dress well. Wear clothes that fit and are appropriate for the setting. If you are going to a business meeting, wearing a well tailored suit and wing tipped boots will project power and dominance, while wearing a loose fitting t-shirt and shorts with sandals would have you demoted to the mail room. Going out on the town and wearing a well fitting dress shirt with denim pants and combat boots with an I don’t give a fuck attitude will give you a much different reaction from the opposite sex than wearing cargo shorts with a brand name t-shirt with your head low and your shoulders curled. Masculinity does have an appearance and it is a projection of your authentic inner self, you must adopt a masculine appearance and realize perception is reality.
The centrifugal force that we must rely on to take back our lives is our masculinity
We know that masculinity is under attack and the modern male is a shale of what our ancestors were. Masculinity is not outdated or toxic, but it is dangerous, and that is perhaps one of the reasons it must be suppressed. If men knew the powers of their inner masculine and followed their purpose they could topple governments, dominate power structures, and live fulfilling lives at the expense of the elite who wish to control them. In our modern age, men have been conditioned to be agreeable and polite, to tolerate nonsense in the name of cooperation and “progress”. This is a sacrifice that ought not to be made as men become unfulfilled as we have fallen out of line with our purpose and objective. The centrifugal force that we must rely on to take back our lives is our masculinity. Take back your masculinity and live a life full of purpose and fulfillment, do not be afraid to embrace your dark side, seek your freedom and liberate yourself by being polarizing. It is not easy to go against the grain, but either is anything else that’s been worth living for. In the fight to take back our masculinity, it starts and ends with ourselves.